Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We are all done wearing pants today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love you.
Bad choice
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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