i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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