Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize