on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
