My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
