Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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