and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
