try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
