And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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