His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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