i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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