I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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