Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
