The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
