Screwed.edu
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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