i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
