some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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