You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
