Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so let's talk penis.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
