ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
