I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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