I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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