new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
