sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
