how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
