hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
