Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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