Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
