we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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