hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love having hate sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
