At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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