...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
