Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
