why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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