my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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