my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rumble strips road head = magical
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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