I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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