Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize