try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
