I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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