Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
