ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
