is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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