isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
