Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
