I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
