It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
