just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
