He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
