her vagine was all disorganized.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
