Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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