'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
